Mindful Motherhood with Dena Farash
Listen in on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google
Episode Summary
Have you ever felt like motherhood is one continuous rollercoaster of emotions?
In today's Project: Mom Podcast, I chat with the incredible Dena Farash of the Mindful Mom Revolution. We dig deep into the world of parenting, exploring the emotional undercurrents and the challenges of remaining mindful amid the chaos. Dena shares her raw, honest journey to becoming a mindfulness champion for mothers. Whether juggling work and parenting or navigating the tricky terrain of emotional regulation, this episode promises insights, laughter, and maybe a tear.
Let's explore the paths to a more connected, purpose-driven parenting journey together. Grab your headphones, settle in, and let's chat!
Topics Discussed:
The importance of the serenity found in daily mindfulness practices
Acknowledging the healing magic of saying "I'm sorry" in parenting
Understanding the art of trusting your intuition and its paramount role in guiding your parenting choices
Building strong communities with Dena, emphasizing the value of genuine digital conversations and mutual growth
Dena’s journey as she transitions to an advocate for mindfulness in motherhood
About Dena:
Dena Farash is the founder of The Mindful Mom Revolution, an online space for Mothers to come together to deliberately create community, inspiration, and progress through awareness of their thoughts and inspired actions. Dena is a successful online entrepreneur who has found her unique way of sharing how to thrive in Motherhood while still creating personal fulfillment, accomplishment, and connection with others. Happily married and a Mom of three, Dena loves to share with women how they can become the best version of themselves while raising the best version of their kids. Using tools like meditation, mindfulness, grit, and charm Dena has established herself as a strong voice in both the motherhood and online business spaces. When not working or spending quality find with her family, you can find Dena at the gym, with her girlfriends, or eating ice cream, which she loves and would never EVER give up.
Connect with Dena:
-
Emily Gorrie (00:03.264)
Welcome to today's episode of the Project Mom Podcast. Today, I'm chatting with Dena Farash. She is the founder of the Mindful Mom Revolution, an online space for mothers to come together to deliberately create community, inspiration, and progress through awareness of their thoughts and inspired actions. She's happily married and a mom of three and loves to share with women how they can become the best version of themselves while raising the best version of their kids.
So Dena, welcome. Thank you so much for being here.
Dena Farash (00:34.37)
Thank you so much for having me, Emily. I'm so excited to chat with you and to have this conversation.
Emily Gorrie (00:41.328)
I am also beyond excited because I, when we first connected and you had shared with me a little bit about yourself, I really resonated because over the last five years or so for me I've been dedicated to becoming more aware of my thoughts and the stories that we tell ourselves and how that ultimately informs our actions. So I'm really excited to talk about how we can be more intentional.
about that throughout our days and how that affects motherhood and business and life. So maybe before we dive into the meat of that and the meat of this episode, I'd love for you to just give our audience a quick insight into your background, your journey with motherhood and with entrepreneurship and what did that path look like and how did they intersect.
Dena Farash (01:30.242)
It's so interesting because I think I've always been an entrepreneur at heart. Creating something is almost as exciting to me as birthing another baby. Right? Yeah. And it's this alchemy of sorts, right? Especially in business where you have this idea and then to be able to bring it to fruition and create it and have this thing with legs that impacts other people's lives is such a gift, right? As are the blessings of our beautiful children.
Dena Farash (01:59.946)
And people ask me all the time how I got into doing specifically what I'm doing right now, which is creating this group called the Mindful Mom Revolution, and I'll just share real quickly about that. This is, it's a free group that I run on Facebook. It's where I share sameness and sanity so that us moms can feel cool, calm, and confident without shame and guilt. And the way I got into doing this work in the first place is I hands down lost my mind.
Dena Farash (02:29.97)
And so I share with people all the time, especially entrepreneurs. I didn't create something based on what I knew. I didn't have this whole background, although parts of my stories overlap when it comes to mindfulness and meditation. But this was not the mission I set forward for in my life. So I didn't create something based on what I knew. I had a plethora of information to share. I created a business based on something I needed.
Dena Farash (02:55.214)
And I like to share that because I think it gives women permission to say, I don't have to know everything. I don't have to have all these certifications. I just need to know what I need and how I can possibly create community or a positive impact in somebody else's life by chatting about it and by sharing about it.
Emily Gorrie (03:14.688)
I love that. I think that's, I mean, that's such a big piece of the mental puzzle of getting beyond this like imposter syndrome or, oh, I need to know all of these things in order to start my business or, you know, that person knows more than me so they're more qualified or, you know, we're kind of our own biggest hurdles in that regard. So I love that, A, you recognized that and B, you didn't let that stop you, right? You were like, there's a need I have. And that's how this podcast started. I mean, this was a need I had to hear these stories. And ultimately, step one was to share them for myself. But then if I could impact another mom's life by sharing a story that resonated, even better. So at what point did you, so you have three kids. So at what point did you decide that this community was something that you needed to create for yourself and for others in that motherhood journey? Was this a pretty early on awareness for you or did you kind of have to lose it a little bit for a little while before you got here? Like what did that timeline look like?
Dena Farash (04:26.318)
Yeah, I love this question and it's got layers to it. Cause I like to say with every child I have a new leg of my business journey has been uncovered. And so I am a lifelong gym rat. This is why I look the way I do right now. I've been a personal trainer for the majority of my life. And so when my oldest was born, I actually started a stroller fitness program, which was phenomenal because I was able to be in-
Dena Farash (04:52.886)
be an intentional stay at home mom, but I had a reason to get out of the house. I had something to look forward to. And I had a group of women that also came in similar phases of life where we could move our bodies, where we could spend time with our kids, and we could just kind of talk shop, right? And I'll circle back because I never knew how much I needed other women until I became a mom. And once I started to understand that I was capable of-
Dena Farash (05:20.494)
creating community, whether in person or virtual, I understood how much of a spiritual and emotional benefit it was for me to be around other women, right? Because my husband is this fantastic guy, I swear the man is a saint, but he's a wonderful father, but he's a terrible mother. Right, so when I was going through my transitions, especially early on in motherhood, I would share with him and my husband, as men do, he's just trying to solve my problem. And I didn't want anybody to solve my problem. I just wanted to say, you know what? I totally get it. You're not alone. We had a crazy night last night too. That's just not how men operate. And that's not how people who aren't mothers understand to other mothers. I wasn't looking for anybody to solve my problems. I was just looking for one person to be like, I get it. I get it. This is a tough one. Yeah.
Emily Gorrie (06:01.531)
Right.
Emily Gorrie (06:09.048)
Yeah, we have that problem too. Mm-hmm, yeah, you're not alone in experiencing these difficulties.
Dena Farash (06:16.062)
Yeah, the men there, they can be wonderful support systems, but it's nothing like chatting with another mom, right? So kudos to you for doing this and bringing these stories alive. And I'll share as my journey unfolded, I had my second child, my oldest two are 18 months apart. And as I shared earlier, I kind of lost my mind. And so in the midst of a panic attack, I said to myself one day in the middle of my backyard, is I'm on the ground like crying to God like why is this so challenging and why am I so right now and God was like Dena you just have to chill and I was like I have two babies what are you talking about God right and I remembered an experience from my past that allowed me to come into that moment and I and I was like I'm gonna try medication right
Dena Farash (07:03.99)
At the time I felt so fragile, right? But most importantly, I just, I needed, I didn't need one more thing on my to-do list because I think that's always overwhelming, but I needed to feel successful at achieving something. So what I did was I gave myself a really practical way to start incorporating meditation into my life. And I told myself, I'm just gonna try this for 30 days. Just five minutes a day, try it for 30 days, and I'm just going to see if it makes an impact.
Dena Farash (07:32.646)
And by week two, I started to feel better. I started to act better, but more importantly, I started to become more aware of my thoughts, right? And you touched upon this a little bit and I'll expand real quickly right now, but we are always acting from an emotional place with the people that we love the most. And the way our brain and our body works is it can't differentiate between the truth of what's actually happening.
Dena Farash (08:02.382)
or the thoughts that we're just making up in our heads. So if we're always gonna act from this emotional connection, especially with our kids who we love so much, we have to do the work to tune into what's happening in our head so that we can understand and have our own perspective of how we're responding to them. And for me, I was always responding from this place of resentment, overwhelmed, stressed out, and feeling like a failure.
Dena Farash (08:28.558)
So it was no wonder that when my kids needed me and they come to me, I was responding to them as if, right? As if whatever story I was telling myself in my head was happening at the time. And so the true gift for me in this 30-day meditation practice was I started to become a lot more aware of my thoughts. And it was in the mundane things. When I was washing the dishes and I was looking out the window and...
judging the neighbor, right? What is going on in their family life. Or when I was folding laundry and I was like, oh, how nice is this? My husband gets three outfit changes a day and I'm in seven day old sweatpants still. Or when I was in the shower and I was thinking about packing the diaper bag and all the snacks and all the things that we have to do. And then one day I really like literally just looked down at myself and I was like, I am naked right now.
Dena Farash (09:19.414)
There is no packing of a diaper bag in this moment. All I'm doing to myself in this moment is stress and agitation. Instead of just being present there, I was going over my never-ending to-do list, which was only aiding to my stress and overwhelm. It wasn't helping me be a calm mom. But by the time I got out of the shower and I just wanted to feel good for a moment, I was in go, go mode, and nobody knew where or how I was coming from.
Dena Farash (09:48.866)
I know I made a hard left with the question that you asked, but I'll shoot. Go ahead.
Emily Gorrie (09:52.636)
totally fine. I know I was just going to say I love that like, awareness piece of it. And it's like the, and I'm a big believer in this of, we are the only ones that can change our situation, like until we're able to do the reframe, or until we're able to even just recognize some of where our thoughts are coming from, like, nothing's going to change. And I say this to my husband, actually quite a bit. I'm like, But don't you want it to change? Don't you want to try it differently? He's like, yeah, I guess so. I guess so. And I'm like, OK, let's, you know. So I'm a big believer in that we are the starting line of that. So I love that journey of yours. And I appreciate you sharing it, because I don't think until we hear it in the amount of times that we have to, does it always resonate for us. So I love that we can hear it from different perspectives. So I think it's interesting when we think about meditation, I'm going to follow your hard left here so we can come back around to the journey at some point. But when I think about meditation, I think there's, you said it a little bit, right? There's this kind of concern almost of like adding something else to our list of, you know, okay, well, I want to feel better. I'm feeling resentment. I'm feeling frustrated. I'm melting down. Okay, meditate. Is this a bandaid? Right? Are we like, adding something else to our list, and are we setting ourselves up to fail? So I appreciate the small win that you gave yourself. Can I just try this for 30 days and see how it makes me feel? And it didn't even take you that long, right? To get to that point. So talk to me a little bit about the type of meditation that you do. Because I think for some of us, even five minutes feels hard to settle into our thoughts. So how did you, and how do you support women in this community to-perhaps give this a try. Like how do we settle deep enough into thoughts that are maybe really scary for us to hear?
Dena Farash (11:58.062)
The first thing I always love to do is kind of strip away what we think meditation is, right? And everybody has this idea that meditation is clearing your mind and that you're in this peaceful zen-like state. And that is actually the antithesis of what meditation is. Meditation is finding a quiet moment or time to focus on your breath, right? And every time you recognize that a thought is coming up, just
Dena Farash (12:24.814)
taking control of your mind and saying, it's an interesting thought, and now I'm just going to follow my breath. So I'm gonna feel it as it comes into my body, and as it comes out of my body. And every time we can make that shift from thought to following our breath, we are meditating. That doesn't mean we need a dedicated space or an hour to do this. We can do this while stopped in the car safely. Put it in.
Dena Farash (12:51.742)
We can do this while we're washing the dishes. We can do this for five minutes in the morning. Now the way I got started was I allowed myself to explore. So sometimes I would go on YouTube and I would just find a five minute meditation. Sometimes I would set a timer and I'd say, okay, I don't want that auditory stimulation right now. And I would just set a timer for five minutes and I would sit there practicing, returning to my breath every time, right?
Dena Farash (13:19.926)
because thoughts are always gonna come up. And it's interesting to allow your thoughts to come up as a witness instead of allowing your thoughts to lead your life.
Dena Farash (13:32.286)
And so meditation really is just that reminder that we can always come back to focusing on our breath. And we can do this all throughout the day, but if you want a seated, more formal practice, it is just about settling into a space that feels safe and comfortable for you. And just every time you recognize a thought, which by the way, triggers an emotion, this is a chemical reaction you cannot break in your body. So every time you recognize a thought, just say, hi thought, nice for you to be here today. I'm going to breathe in and I'm going to breathe out, right? And physically being aware of that breath as it comes in and out, that is the art of meditation. And we can master it over time, but many of us can't, and that's okay too. It's just about, and the Bible talks about this, it's about holding the mind captive so that the thoughts are not controlling the body, right?
Dena Farash (14:32.206)
quiet moments to say, just for this moment, I'm going to witness myself breathing in and breathing out.
Emily Gorrie (14:40.516)
Yeah, I love that. It's funny, I haven't, it's not a secret of it. I haven't shared this on the podcast before. When I was in my 20s, I had done a like week long meditation course in person. It was all on Vedic meditation. And it's the concept of that is clearing your mind. And the thing I found the most powerful about that, because I think there are definitely when you're in your twenties and you don't have kids and you're not even married yet, you have plenty of time to practice 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening, and you have time to do all of those things, but it's not really feasible any longer, right, when you're a mom and you're trying to figure out why you're feeling the way that you're feeling and you're feeling overwhelmed. So the thing I still come back to from that practice, and I've given myself a lot of grace and permission to let that practice go because it's just not feasible for me anymore, but The piece for me was the recognition of a thought when it comes into your mind. For that particular practice, right, the goal was to just watch them float on by, right? You recognize that they're there and you say, okay, I'm gonna go back into this breathing state and you like let them float by. And I loved that and I still kind of incorporate some of that into my day. How did you find that? the act of just being present helped you reframe some of those thoughts. So now you're practicing for five minutes, washing the dishes, coming back to your breath or in the car at a stoplight, whatever that looks like. How did you find that those thoughts that did continue to come up? Because you said it's a chemical connection, it's impossible to have these thoughts not show up in our daily lives. How did you find that they started to reframe? and you started feeling less resentment and less frustration and more maybe calm and confident when you were coming to these situations.
Dena Farash (16:45.322)
Well, that's the work, right? I wish I could say that meditation was this instant fix and all of a sudden I walk on water and drop rope holes everywhere I step. That's not my reality. I am, but my nature is aggressive and assertive, right? I am from New Jersey, I'm a straight Jersey girl. Typically I'm wearing big hoop earrings. This is part of, this is also enthralled in my identity. So.
Dena Farash (17:13.338)
That is the work and the true gift of meditation is the awareness of your thoughts. And then it's always a question of what do I do next? I can read into this thought and I can let it spiral and then I can get myself in an emotional place that's going to perhaps cause my actions to not align with what I really want. Or I can make a small shift. Now the easiest shift I think that I share with everybody is into gratitude, okay?
Dena Farash (17:37.698)
So if I'm washing the dishes and I'm thinking about Linda at the supermarket, who bumped me with her car and gave me a side eye, right? I can, I can feed into this and I can continue to tell myself a story that doesn't serve me about what I would have said or how I would have handled it or what I should have said to Linda, right? Or I can just feel my feet on the ground. I can feel the water washing over my hands and I can think about one or two things that I'm grateful for in this moment that have not
Dena Farash (18:07.206)
with Linda that will allow me to be more present for my children when they have a need because PS our children are always going to have a need and it's always going to feel like the most inopportune time if we have allowed our thoughts to drive the bus.
Emily Gorrie (18:25.88)
Yeah, I love that. So when you, I wanna jump into this community that you've built kind of with that in mind. So when you are thinking about this community that you've built and the goals that you have for it and how you interact with these women who are participating, does this, how does this practice play a role in what you're trying to achieve in that group? Is this something that you, you know,teach through that group to these women, the reframes, like how are these women supported in this group, especially as we're all hoping just to find moments where we feel better in our bodies and we can show up better for our children and we can feel like we were able to be the best for ourselves and the best for them.
Dena Farash (19:12.642)
The number one thing that comes to mind is, for me, is honesty. We are fooled, especially on social media, with comparison and judgment and making and things that we view visually that make us feel internally like we're not hitting the mark as women as moms. And so I share my shame stories. I share the stories about how I had no control over my emotional regulation, that I punched a hole in the wall.
Dena Farash (19:38.954)
or the one time I picked up my son's underwear and I raged out and I tore it in half. Because the more we can share our shame stories, the more we can see sameness in one another, the more we can recognize that we are not along with what we're experiencing and feeling, and the more we can allow ourselves to come to states of awareness so that we can do better and be better for ourselves and our children.
Dena Farash (20:03.822)
So I share, just the other day, we had a tough night the other night and I did a Facebook Live the next day, I said, here's what I did right, here's what I did wrong. Because I don't teach from a place, and I don't just say, I don't share from a place of being an expert. I share from a place of sameness. I share from a place of wanting so desperately to create a life that feels good because my children and I deserve it, and knowing that every other mom in the world
Dena Farash (20:32.302)
also deserves a home life that feels cool, calm, and connected with their children.
Emily Gorrie (20:38.18)
Yes, I have goosebumps as you say that because I think that's really something we all strive for. Right? It's like, how can we, I think a lot of us at least, and I know our motivations are different, right? Depending on our own unique personalities, where we're from, where, you know, what's ingrained in us, what we grew up seeing and believing and experiencing. But I think ultimately, when as moms, we start businesses or we continue businesses that we had and we become moms. You know, we ultimately want to find this balance, harmony, navigation, whatever you want to call it between the two lives. So ultimately, that's what we all want, right? Is to have this like calm connection with our children and still feel like we can be us. So I love, love that. And I think there's not enough shame stories being shared. Like there's like, I think about, I'm in like a mommy group on Facebook. We all like due dates around the same time. I think it was probably the worst decision I made to join this group because it's like just people being like, this is my situation. What do I do? And then I like, I'm genuinely into, I'm like, what do we do? What does she do? Like what do other people think she should do? So I'm like scrolling through comments and it's like the judgment, the sheer audacity of some women to respond being like, how could you even think that or why would you? I'm like, how are we showing up this way? How can we show up this way? And I do have to recognize those people are showing up from their own personal experiences. And have probably never thought about having compassion for somebody else or having an experience different than their own or whatever. So I am grateful that you have created this because we need a safe space to share those stories. And how do you handle kind of the, I think, inevitable, right? When somebody, I mean, we all have these, like, emotions, these experiences that come up. So, like, how do you handle the inevitable and or have you experienced the what I think is an inevitable, like, situation where perhaps we're letting our judgments come through on somebody else? Like, how do we support one another?
Emily Gorrie (22:59.752)
and support ourselves, maybe forgive ourselves that we've like passed some sort of judgment on somebody else in this experience.
Dena Farash (23:07.094)
this is like a personal question or in my group.
Emily Gorrie (23:11.172)
however you choose to handle it. I think perhaps personal and then, you know, if there's, if it differs in your group.
Dena Farash (23:20.946)
Yeah, I will share with you. Ultimately, at the crux of everything I do is I teach moms that they are the ones in control of the relationship that they have with their children, whether they're newborns, toddlers, 25 years old, at the end of the day it is a mother's responsibility to harness a close, connected relationship with their children. So in many ways I teach gentle parenting because I think perspective is really important.
Dena Farash (23:47.766)
I will share with you that I was at the gym yesterday and I was speaking to a mom who was telling me about how she is physical with her children. And that's a big trigger for me because that is the antithesis of what I teach. That is personally how I grew up. And I make TikToks about this all the time. So now I'm in this situation where I'm like, am I supposed to be Jundina or?
Dena Farash (24:15.702)
to be mindful mom, Dina, and shareable. And so at the crux of everything I do, my core belief is that every mother is doing the very best that she can. This woman genuinely believes that this was the right way to parent her child. And now while it triggered me, I didn't share my opinion. I didn't share my thought process because...
Dena Farash (24:43.378)
I am totally, and this is just me as a person, I am totally fine being controversial and saying things that people don't wanna hear, but I am very cognizant and aware of never making a mother feel badly about how she mothers, right? And so I asked some questions, because that's the type of person I am, to try and dig it out of her a little bit more. But this was a core belief that she had and she felt like that was fine. And so that was a challenging conversation for me to be in.
Dena Farash (25:11.054)
However, I know without a doubt that this woman thinks that she's doing the best she can for her child. And I know that without a doubt that she is parenting her child at her absolute highest capacity. And so we all just have different capacities for how we want to show up with our children. And the people that I work with know that it is their responsibility. And they know that it's not the child's fault. They know and they take ownership of what can I do to make it better.
And ultimately, I think that comes down to the energy you put out and who you attract. Because I know this woman who I spoke to at the gym, she's one of them, right? And so it's not my job to sit there and pass judgment and condemn that while I have my own personal feelings about it. It's my job to bring more of the women that are ready to take action for themselves into my world so I can help and be of service to those women.
Dena Farash (26:04.414)
and reach them and their families so that their children have a better, had a better childhood than the one I had.
Emily Gorrie (26:10.468)
Yep, I really appreciate that perspective because I think there is not enough recognition on that personal responsibility sometimes of, okay, this person is, yes, triggering me right now. I recognize the emotions that are coming up for me for one reason or another, and the response doesn't have to be defense. We don't have to be on the defense that just because this person believes something different than us that they're right or we're wrong or we're right or they're wrong. And I think there's not a lot of room or hasn't historically been a lot of room for the gray of what works for somebody else's working may not work for us and vice versa. So I would love if you could share with us a little bit about how this plays out in your day-to-day with your kids. So like, you know, you have done the work.and it's never ending, right? It's a process we're always constantly, you know, gonna be challenged by something or someone right throughout our lives. Like we're never gonna get to an end goal. There's never a finish line. But I would love to kind of hear how this plays out for you in your day-to-day with your kids. So, I mean, just because we practice a certain way and we are, you know, recognizing our place in participation and how these experiences are playing out doesn't mean they go away. So, What does kind of that support look like for you in the midst of a meltdown or a tantrum or I mean, I know it will probably vary as your kids get older, but you know, what has worked for you in some of those really heavy hitting moments? And how has that evolved for you?
Dena Farash (27:54.742)
The first thing I'll share is that I allow myself to be human, which means I am imperfect, I am fallible, and I have emotional ups and downs just like everybody else. Now, with that in mind, I do my best, I do my absolute best to stay calm and connected to my children in many moments, and that is a constant evolution of figuring out what they need in the moment.
Dena Farash (28:24.118)
what I need in the moment so that I can stay regulated and calm, and then recognizing where I went wrong so that the next time I can be more intentional to give them more of what they need in that moment. A lot of times when our kids are acting from an emotional standpoint, they have a need that isn't being met. And now as a mom, you also have needs that aren't being met.
Dena Farash (28:47.266)
So if, and that's why, you know, the expression, the cliched expression of filling your cup, but if you are on empty and none of your needs are being met, you will never be able to emotionally withstand the intense needs and the chaos that come in motherhood. And so where is that connection? Well, first it's having grace with ourselves and saying, okay, maybe I responded that way because I haven't slept in three days or I'm physically uncomfortable because I'm about to give birth or.
Dena Farash (29:17.206)
I'm stressed because I have these deadlines and I'm rushing towards the finish line. But allowing yourself to say, I am a human being and sometimes I'm really nailing this and other times I'm not doing my best and I can do better is the keystone to be able to evolve in our relationships with ourselves and our children. I've done a lot of work to work on my own emotional regulation. It does not mean that I am a perfect parent or a perfect person. I still do and say things that upon reflection I say I could have said that differently. I could have said that differently. So I have to forgive myself, I have to forgive my children, and then I have to become even more aware next time in the heat of the moment so that I can be more conscious and create a connection with my child and not...
Dena Farash (30:13.305)
not an obligation.
Emily Gorrie (30:15.224)
Yeah, I love that. And I think there's also to write this benefit of showing your emotions to your children also, right? So to model that it is safe to be human, to have these feelings, to then come back around and support ourselves and what those are. Like I think about the other night, last week my daughter was sick, so we had to reschedule this interview and I was tired. I mean, she was up. five, six times a night, like every couple of hours. And I am nine months pregnant. So I am physically already depleted. And I remember one night I had to, she wanted me to lay on the floor of her room to fall asleep. And she has not needed us to do this. She's gonna be three in December. She has not needed us since like, she was a year to do this. And I was like, oh my gosh, why me? Why me? I felt, I could feel these thoughts coming up. I took a couple of deep breaths and I remember laying there and in all transparency, I was crying. I was like, I just could not stop the tears like streaming down my face. And it was so therapeutic in a way to release those emotions and give myself grace. And she laid there with me and she held my hand and she like rubbed my hand. And I was like, I'm getting teary thinking about it. It's like the connection. Like she was able to show up for me because I was able to show up for her in other ways. And I think there's something so beautiful to be able to just be that model for our kids, to show them that it's okay to have these big feelings, show them, and there's no harm in it. Looking back on it, it's more beautiful. I was like, physically my body was failing me. I was like, I gotta get off this floor.
Dena Farash (32:00.61)
Yeah, that's such a beautiful story.
Emily Gorrie (32:10.768)
But yeah, and so thank you for that. Yeah, so it is a beautiful reminder. And I want to talk a little bit about, before we wrap this up, I want to talk a little bit about this being a role model for your kids. And we talk about it in terms of emotions and being present and showing up for them in ways that perhaps we didn't have as kids in our own childhood experience. So how do you take that and you? you kind of implement that into your day-to-day. So I mean, we talked, you shared in the prep with this a little bit with me of like being that role model for your kids. So they can see that you have courage, that you have the confidence to go out and follow your dreams or be more emotionally regulated or whatever that looks like for whoever's listening. Like how do we take that and instill that in ourselves so that we're that model for our kids?
Dena Farash (33:08.094)
if you apologize.
Emily Gorrie (33:09.693)
Mmm, it's a big one.
Dena Farash (33:12.398)
Yeah, you know, I think it's totally okay to show your children that you have boundaries and that you have emotional boundaries and that when mommy gets pushed to her limit, there often is a consequence to that might not feel good for everybody. The way we teach our children that all humans make mistakes is by recognizing our own and sharing it with them and coming back to that place of connection.
Dena Farash (33:38.198)
you know, and speaking to them at an age appropriate level, because our children are always watching. And while it may feel like they are not listening, it's because they are learning more based on watching us and how we respond in certain situations. And they will always follow what we do and not always what we say. And so the best way I can teach my children that it is okay to be an imperfect human being is to share about it, recognize it, and apologize.
Dena Farash (34:07.614)
in the moments where I perhaps treated them in a way that didn't feel great for everybody.
Emily Gorrie (34:14.296)
Yeah, and that is, I mean, that's the work there too, right? It's like, we have to learn that ourselves because I would imagine that a handful of people listening, if not more than that, could be like, well, how do I learn that if I never saw that myself, right? So being able to become more calm in those moments, to be more mindful of what's going on, to be aware of those thoughts that are coming through.
Emily Gorrie (34:44.492)
Really awareness is the first step, right? To be able to make the change. So I do appreciate that. And I think the apology is where we have to get our own egos out of the way. It's okay that we've messed up.
Dena Farash (34:57.282)
Right, and at the crux of everything is that all human beings deserve respect, especially our little ones, and if we don't have the skills to stay regulated to show our little ones respect in the heat of the moment, we can always come back and honor them afterwards.
Emily Gorrie (35:13.08)
Yep, I love that. It's so true. I mean, we can, the repair is so necessary. And how do we?
Emily Gorrie (35:22.616)
I'm like thinking of it's like even as adults, how can we do that with our partners with our families with our friends? I mean, I think you said it earlier, like we are really emotional with those closest to us, right? It's like that's where there are safe spaces. That's where we show our biggest emotions and we don't hide a lot of that. So to be able to recognize that perhaps we like, you know, blew a lid or we got upset or we took something out on somebody else and didn't really respect their boundary or whatever. And then coming back and actually having those conversations is so mature. And so I think just unseen in a lot of experiences that people have had thus far. I mean, just in the last decade or so, has this really become the conversation? which I'm grateful for. I mean, I feel like, I mean, doing things differently than you've seen done in the past can be scary.
Dena Farash (36:26.83)
One thing I share with moms all the time is that you only know how to parent the way that you were parented. And so when we come to this place where we are ready to evolve personally and as moms, we have to understand that our parents did the very best that they could. And then we have to make really intentional choices to then create a home that feels in line with what we want for our relationships. And as an adult, you have that perspective of
Dena Farash (36:55.99)
Okay, well, I don't have a great relationship with my mom, but I don't want to have that with my daughters and my children. So what do I have to do? How do I have to evolve so that I can have a close connection with my kids? One thing I think about often is that one day my children are going to grow up and they are going to figure out who I really am. At the end of the day, I don't want my children to be around me because they feel obligated to be. I want them to be around me because they genuinely like...
Dena Farash (37:25.07)
who I am and they feel like me in their life is a benefit to their growth. Motherhood is filled with all of these life lessons that I never knew I needed. Here I am and all of those barriers are being broken down because it truly is our biggest catalyst to personal growth. As long as we are willing to understand and compartmentalize our priorities at certain times.
Dena Farash (37:52.002)
so that we can focus more and be with our children when it matters. And if we're not able to in those moments, coming back and sharing how we feel, and not guilt, but just genuinely true apologies, then we can create a safe connection so that our kids always know that they are loved, that they are perfect exactly the way they are, and that even though we're imperfect beings, we can still show up and do our best every single day for our families.
Emily Gorrie (38:23.372)
Yeah, I love that. I love that. And I think there's a lot of parallels also to like how we can show up in our businesses too. Like, I mean, you mentioned at the beginning, like building a business and starting something is very similar to like birthing a child, right? You are dedicating whole parts of yourself at times to create something that has meaning and has value to you. So what are some of the ways that you've been able you know, mindfulness, this meditation awareness practice into the businesses that you've created and kind of the evolution that you've followed to get to this point. Like what have some of those lessons been for you?
Dena Farash (39:06.766)
I think ultimately it's that intuition requires action. Whether that's for our children or with our businesses, I can have a thousand great ideas a day and if I act on none of them, then I'm exactly where I am. If I act on some of them, then I can start to move the dial forward. Whether that's a social media post, a workshop I wanna host, it doesn't matter. But the more I take action,
Dena Farash (39:32.054)
the more my intuition hits and let's know what the next right step is. But intuition is like a muscle, right? And so if we don't use it, we lose it. And that's in our everything and that's in our businesses. The more we are willing to take action from our intuitions lead, the better we position ourselves to be of service and to live a purpose driven lives in our home and our businesses.
Emily Gorrie (39:59.972)
Yes. I love that so much because I am a huge believer in that whatever decision you make in a moment is the right one and it leads you to some sort of learning, right? Whether it's like, okay, maybe let's make a pivot in the other direction or this actually really was in alignment with what I was looking for. I love when you say it's like a muscle you have to strengthen, you have to flex, you have to practice, you have to build up repetition. And I think for a lot of us, there's fear around, well, what if it's the wrong move? Or what if it exposes me emotionally or it puts me out there subject to criticism or judgment or comparison? And I always remind myself, so I just love that visualization of like, any decision I make is gathering information. It's actually giving me something to build off of. and get better at and feel more in tune with what it is that I'm ultimately trying to achieve. So I absolutely love that, that visualization of all of that. So just to wrap things up, I wanna, for the sake of time, I wanna give you an opportunity, just give us an idea of where our listeners can find you, how can they engage with you within this community, through other services or offerings that you have, how can we engage?
Dena Farash (41:25.678)
I am most active in my Facebook group, which is called the Mindful Mom Revolution. I show up there Monday through Friday to offer support, to offer connection, and most importantly, create community through sameness. I give a lot of mindful and practical parenting suggestions on TikTok, and you can find me there either at the Mindful Mom Revolution or my name, Dina Farish. I am on all social media platforms. I tend to be the most raw, open and real on Facebook and I always encourage people to find me out there personally, connect with me. I'd love to meet you in the virtual space, especially if you heard me here. And my biggest, you know, motherhood is so much of my purpose personally and professionally and that is such a gift to be able to connect with other women who are having similar but different experiences. And and work as a guide for them and myself to create a home life that's in line with what we all deserve.
Emily Gorrie (42:28.176)
Yeah, that's incredible. And we'll make sure to link all of those in the show notes, those listening have easy access to that. And I just am so grateful for your willingness to be vulnerable and share these experiences with us and within your community, because I think there's so much room for. community that we need. I mean, the gap is there and we have to find it for ourselves and I'm just grateful that you're giving us a place to start to find that and to perhaps reframe the experiences that we've had. So Dena, thank you so much for being here.
Dena Farash (43:03.266)
Thank you so much, Emily. Thanks for the experience.